NERVOUS BREAKDOWN: Are We On The Precipice Of A Giggly Squad Reckoning?
Megan Thee Stallion, Sweetie, I'm So Sorry
Sorry, y'all mind if I yap real quick…are we finally on the precipice of a Giggly Squad reckoning?
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Let me rewind. If you're hearing about Hannah Berner for the first time through her latest blunder interviewing Megan Thee Stallion on the Vanity Fair Red Carpet, then (first off, congrats on not being chronically online) let me explain, because the tea goes far beyond Bravo.
ICYMI, Hannah (a female "farts are funny"-adjacent comic who got kicked off of Summer House by her own admission which inspired her to successfully land her own Netflix special) and Paige (a Bravolebrity still on said Bravo series who recently led a loud breakup from her reality TV boyfriend) got the amazing opportunity to host the live stream of the red carpet arrivals for the Vanity Fair Oscars After Party. This was a gig I did not know existed until VF announced this year's lucky cohort (Hannah, Paige, Francesa Scorcese, and, of course, Tan France because he is legally obligated to host one show a quarter lest a silk caterpillar loses its tail) but a notable gig nonetheless.
During said red carpet affair, Hannah and Paige got the chance to interview Megan Thee Stallion, a moment which brought Hannah to tears. Why? Because as Hannah told Meg to her face, when Hannah wants to "fight someone," she listens to Meg’s music. Okay, whatever that means…
Most of those who congregate at the altar of Hannah and Paige's snarky feet do so in the sanctuary of the ladies' podcast, The Giggly Squad (a name derisively thrust upon them by their Summer House castmate). But for a girl like me who consumes every second of content Bravo airs religiously, and usually twice, I'm one of the lucky tribe who first met Hannah during her rollercoaster stint on Summer House. Hannah first ruffled feathers with the audience in season 3 for being, for lack of a better word, obnoxious. Still, there was something about the way she took up space so unapologetically that it felt fitting for reality TV, even if she wasn't your cup of tea.
That was until Hannah's crush on a different castmate named Luke turned into a witch hunt. Luke made the mistake of starting a fling with Hannah in season 5 (and going down on Hannah "for hours," according to her recollection on Watch What Happens Live) without the intention of seeing it through. When he pulled back at the end of summer because Hannah was catching feelings, Hannah's discontent was fairly relatable. But her anti-Luke campaign the following summer to turn his own guest/new castmate, Ciara, against Luke while skeet shooting for his character on and off the show was not. Especially when Hannah capped off the season by introducing her new man (who would soon become her husband) to the show, revealing their relationship had begun at the same time she claimed she was still deeply in a situationship with Luke and having sex with her new dude Des in her frenemies' bathroom.
Long story short, shit went supremely left when Hannah went on a podcast and allegedly mocked Luke's admission that the hate from the situation hit him at a life-threateningly dark time. Hannah's dismissal of Luke's suicidal ideation was then the biggest of her micro scandals, one for which she apologized for, cresting over consistent allegations that she'd, um, borrowed jokes she repurposed as her own to grow her online presence, alleged accusations that some still claim to this day. But don't let the stink that's lingered behind Hannah's coattails fool you. Much of the Bravoverse's favorite spunky Italian isn't without criticism either and not just for her dedication to fashions from Amazon.
Paige DeSorbo has allegedly ticked a couple of the typical influencer bingo card boxes of no-nos over the years via comments that got Reddit in a tizzy from their pod (but most of which, upon today's investigation, have been dutifully scrubbed from the internet). Her colorist comments about Rege-Jean Page making a perfect James Bond because he's "real British," AKA "light-skinned," remain, however. Oh, and that time they both laughed on a live about Paige "being an autistic person." Paige's commitment to "learning and growing" after the Rege comments still didn't explain why that thought occurred to her in the first place.
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But if you ask The Gigglers, no matter what you might take issue with, it's all out of context, the context being Paige and Hannah are freaking awesome. To know Hannah and Paige is to love them, and apparently a prerequisite of fairly comprehending anything they do outside of their podcast. Though it may look like it because of the diligence with which I enjoy itemizing receipts, I don't have an unwavering belief that Hannah and Paige should be banished to cancelled land, but what I do despise is their fandom's obsession with insisting anyone who critiques the pair is a decrepit old baby boomer in a loveless marriage (I'm paraphrasing an actual tweet I actually read).
Because I don't get a chuckle of regurgitating "we ride at dawn" (something Hannah categorically did not make up for her Netflix special) and other memeable lingo, apparently, they'll see me in court (another inside joke that serves as a Giggler's battle cry and not mention something that won't happen to this here writer as I know how to allegedly-proof the fuck out an opinion piece).
There's nothing wrong with enjoying their podcast or their halphazard style of interviewing celebs where everything's made up and the points don't matter. Their chatter with Jesse Eisenberg, for example, wasn't the level of smoothness I enjoy from others (like Zuri Hall on E!) but still was far less egregious than allegedly affiliating a knoen assault victim with angry, black, flighting energy, when the majority of her lyrics are about anxiety and shaking ass).
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I'll admit, to declare Hannah and Paige your altruistic life gurus seems confusing for me, personally, even as a dedicated consumer of high brow and low brow. Still, the Gigglers have every right to stan even if I'm not the target audience. But their standom would go far more unscathed if they didn't always clap back at any differing opinions with jokes ripped straight out of an imaginary play I'd call How To Succeed In Bitchiness Without Even Trying. And honestly, that's not a read! Okay, it's a little bit of a read, but I would see that play after a long week when I just wanted to drink a glass of wine and giggle. I get that the comfort The Giggly Squad brings its hindmive stems from its universal simplicity, but I have to wonder, do they know that?
Who's old enough to remember when Taylor Swift recirculated the famous Madeleine Albright quote (which she attributed to Katie Couric): "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." But where's the place for women who intend to help other women (and will always defend a woman's right to be mediocre in front of men) yet refuse to laugh at a joke they don't find funny solely because a woman told it? And where is the line drawn for those whose pursuit of humor leads to stumble after stumble before a community gets hurt? I'd imagine the comedians in the room would take this moment to scream how their craft needs room for growing pains, and I agree. But maybe the length of slack on your rope is determined by how close you are to objective greatness, not how many of your fans think you're great.
I love women and genuinely believe that as a unit, we are innately funnier than men because of the world we were born into. I'd take Hannah and Paige over their male tethereds any day. But that doesn't mean I'm going to applaud their digestible commodification of "pro-feminist" womanhood (if feminism is just yelling "ewww boys stink! I'm an independent woman who don't need no man) a lot. I'd advise the diehard Gigglers to perhaps stop publicly demanding these very white women get a pass for their future blunders solely because Hannah and Paige are funnier than anything else going on in their group chat.
UPDATE: Hannah Berners’ (Underwhelming And Expected) Apology Is in:
After publication, on March 6, 2025, Hannah took to a very serious Instagram Story to set the record straight. She’s sorry and appreciative!